Something’s gotta give.
I’ve never liked December Holidays, not since the early 80’s. That was the not-at-all-original broken home syndrome kind of thing when my parent’s divorce took all the fun out of holidays in general. Both my grandparents on my dad’s side died in December, and as cliché as it is to say it, that mostly made Young Me bitter about the whole month, and that hasn’t worn off much.
There were the years when the kids were wee bairns, and while I always enjoyed their enthusiasm for the holidays, I hated being so fucking poor that the dollar store was the main shopping destination. That is, hands down, one of the things about not working in politics anymore that is nice. I’m still broke most of the time, but I can put enough together to make the kids smile.
When you work in politics, you're usually unemployed November though March. I gave Democratic politics almost 20 years of my life. All I have to show for it is … type 2 diabetes and a chip on my shoulder.
It’s also, over the last ten years, the eve of The Big Bills. The network has the majority of our annual bills hit the first of January. While there are bills scattered throughout the year, the big ones all hit right after New Years. That’s why WE FUNDRAISE, or TRY TO in December, when it’s a silly time to do that.
On the other hand, a listener requested (years ago) post pops up every year, too. Me reading T’Was The Night Before Christmas. Jake was busting my balls on The LEFT Show back then, letting me know that he thought I was too bitter about Christmas and while I only remember the spirit of the teasing, and not the specifics, it caused about one hundred or so emails to come in, asking for me to read T’Was. Which, because I am desperate to make people love me, I totally did.
Now …
I’m not going to get into the last few years of the failed marriage, the denial of visitation, my kids not being able to visit me at my place because I can’t afford a lawyer to sue on my behalf … it’s all there. I’ll talk about it if I’m asked, but, I’m already in a shit mood, and I don’t feel like typing it all out - yes, I see the irony of that, here in paragraph 6.
I utterly hate the damage my ex has done to my current life, and how her fetish for my misery has exacerbated the misery of the season by denying my my children for more than a few fleeting minutes on holidays and special occasions.
Regardless, there is a certain something in the air this time of year. Customers who are usually stone faced grouchy brighten up and smile a little when you say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” because more people like this time of year than don’t. It’s fun to see young parents looking for their kid’s first comic, or their hundredth. Confused grandparents are also awesome, wanting so much to hit the mark, but assuming the mannerisms of the lost.
Mostly, I like giving people presents. Even in the Dollar Store Christmases past it was so much fun to see the kids light up over piles of New Stuff, no matter how shitty or shabby. I’d say, thinking back, my regret du jour is that Cole was grown up and out of the house before the Dollar Store days ended, and had to watch the younger kids get cool shit he never got when he was their age.
There’s a certain joy in finding Westerns on DVD for my dad that he doesn’t already own (yes, DVD … he’s old and change is hard), but it’s difficult being so many hours removed from him. My mother continues to be a mystery having never read a single book I’ve given for Christmas.
I’ll wrap this up. I know I’m in the minority on this whole anti-Christmas thing. It’s okay. I honestly do understand. I can still remember the joy of one childhood Christmas morning of my sister Julie waking brother Trent and I up at 4am, leading us to the living room where we went a little ape shit - I was so happy that I didn’t even mind that I got a snowspeeder instead of the XWing I wanted (now that I’m a grandparent, though, I feel bad because I understand the whole hard to find toy thing). We woke up my parents by being noisy, and mother, in her 4am fury, made us re-box all the open toys, stack them back up, and sent us back to bed until a reasonable hour (I’ll add that I have been blessed with children that have always slept in, sometimes quite late.) That was a great morning, as I recall, the Christmas before my parent’s divorce and the first steps toward where I am now, I guess.
Weird how it all comes around.
Anyway, folks, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year, too. I honestly wish you all the best for the next year, and feel the need to remind each of you not only to vote this next year, but to register at least two new voters before the 2022 midterms. Get out there and preach the word, friends.