Pride Thoughts

I think the ladies doth protest too much.

I am comfortable calling myself an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. I feel comfortable with that.

I still remember meeting my first out gay peer when I was 16 years old and feeling nothing negative. No twitch, no startle, no needing to redefine some antediluvian societal silliness about any of it. I liked him. He was funny, he was kind, and he tried, unsuccessfully I might add, to import to me the importance of moisturiser. I’ve ignored that advice until quite recently. I still remember, as a group of us were walking across town on a hot summer night that “I don’t sweat, I glissen!”

I was, at that time, a simple Utahn farm town kid. My formative early years had been spent in lily-white Sandy, Utah before my folks spilt and Dad and I moved to Utah County.

My dad was also a simple Utah farm town guy. He grew up within the prejudices and preconceptions that went along with living in a tiny rural town, filled with white religious people and their insane baggage bred by ignorance. My grandparents, Dad’s parents, weren’t racist, and I have no idea how they felt about LGBTQ+ folks because it just never came up before they passed.

My dad broke his environmental indoctrination with travel. First by joining the Army, second by, ironically, serving on a Mormon mission in the deep south. He loved to travel to new and different places. He moved out of Utah and spent time travelling the world with work. He unlearned a lot, and passed that unlearning on to me.

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." - Mark Twain

So, when I met my first openly gay fellow, I didn’t have to redefine any generational dipshit. My Dad taught me, through word and example, that any person was deserving of respect based on who they were, and not what they were.

Now, I don’t think that my deeply religious and right wing voting father ever thought that these keystone lessons on “How to be a good man,” would turn me into the militant leftist that I am now, but, when he can set aside his goofy voting habits for a moment, he’s let me know that he sees who I am, what I stand up for, and that he has both pride and respect for the way I have chosen to live my life.

It’s a choice, you see, to be a bigoted asshole. I chose not to be. I mean, I’ve been an asshole plenty of times in my life, just not bigoted.

Well, I wasn’t planning on writing an appreciation post about my dad, but here we are. I digress.

Pride Month is important for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is to identify, or Target, if you will, which corporations I will or will not do business with. The list this year grew exponentially. It was shocking.

Let me make a local observation or two.

I guess we’re all well aware what a waste of skin Utah Governor Cox is. He’s a Republican wind-sock especially when it comes to LGBTQ+ issues. While he’s presenting as a fully functioning human without a spine, his lack of active humanity emboldens the hate filled ignorant shitwits in his party to pursue their hate filled ignorant shitwit agenda against their fellow Americans just because their hate filled ignorant shitwit Republican Jesus tells them to.

[Just Asking Questions Zone]

Enter Utah Rep. Trevor Lee and Utah Sen. Dan McCay. To be honest with you, I think the ladies doth protest too much. How many times have we seen this frothy mouthed dedication at punishing fellow Americans for being LGBTQ+, most especially T, from Republicans where it turns out that they’re Ken Mehlmen?

Ken was the chair of the National GOP during the Bush II Push against the LGBT folks through the 2004 elections. He was very, very good at demonizing the queer community, set back the forward progress for marriage equality by more than a decade, and once the dust settled on the election, came out of the closet expecting to be embraced and celebrated. I personally hope he spends his life alone, like he deserves.

Let me just ask a couple of questions. That’s all it is, just a guy asking questions…

You know how GRINDR puts out the stats of massive usage spikes every time the GOP has a get together? Solicitation of male prostitution arrests spike every time they have a convention … where were ol’ Trevor and Dan during some of these get togethers? I HOPE AND PRAY that’s what it is and not this growing slate of GOP holy warriors and clergy that keep getting arrested for messing around with kids?

I digress.

[ END Just Asking Questions Zone]

I’ve been to the SLC Pride Parade only once, and that was because I was driving a float for a candidate. I’ve been to the festival in SLC only twice. I’ve been told that straights are both welcome and unwelcome, depending on who I’m talking to, and when you add in the crowds, the summer heat and sunshine - especially the cancer giving sunshine - it’s easy for me to cheer from afar.

I understand the No Straights at Pride gang. I really do. If there were a group of people who were constantly on my back trying to make me illegal, I wouldn’t want to hang with me either. On the other hand, I have two of my kids in the community, and I am a huge booster for their happiness. When guys like Dan and Trevor are throwing their bile and vitriol at people I love, I want to be present to show my love and solidarity.

This year, thanks to the cancer diagnosis, I’m sitting out Pride even though I’m feeling a strong pull towards going. Sunshine and I are not on speaking terms at the moment, and it knows what it did. It’s vitamin D supplements time, is what I’m saying. If not for that, I’d be there this year. I know that just one body not being there isn’t going to tip a scale or anything, but, again, I want to be present, loving, and supportive. I wear my “Proud Dad” T-shirt all year round. My “You Can Pee Next To Me” shirt was in such heavy rotation that it has holes worn in it. I’m a Dragon Dad, and proud of it.

I’m rambling again and I have no idea how to wrap this up.

Happy Pride to all those who celebrate. I love you. I’m sorry for the other straights that keep causing pain, that only bring fear to certain segments of our society, that work so hard to invalidate your existence. I will continue to speak out, continue to lobby, and continue to challenge hateful Republican elected officials to fight me in the ring. I may not go out in the sunshine anymore, but I will always (this is exciting to write), always be there in the shadows, cheering for you, fighting for you, celebrating you, and holding all the love I can possibly hold for you in my heart.

Just like we can’t smother racism until white folks stand up and use their privilege to force change, we’re not going to be able to help with anti-LGBTQ+ ideology until the straight community stands in solidarity against the Hater Straights. Speak up. Speak out. Stand your ground (you heard me) and never back down. We can’t move toward Utopia without drowning hate and bigotry.

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